I bought this print (by Pahuncvo) when I lived in Spain. I was fourteen years old and had a difficult home situation. This print gave me a sense of moving into the future with hope and freedom. It also gave me a feeling that there were going to be long stretches of becoming, that I wasn't stuck in the here and now of who I thought I was. I'm fifty now and it appears I was right!
I've struggled writing the poem, it is still very rough. If any one has constructive criticism please feel free to let me know.
White Horse
She bolts into the storm
to taste the night
on her tongue,
becomes the lantern
in the blue-black midnight.
A twin to the moon
that pulls us up
through the ground of ourselves
into perpetual becoming.
18 comments:
How great that you have kept this print all those years. I really liked your lines: a twin to the moon that pulls us up through the ground of ourselves into perpetual becoming (or I guess I could have said great ending!) :) I liked this.
You've used some marvelous imagery here..."taste the night on her tongue," "becomes the lantern in the blue-black midnight"...these expand on the print in a way that brings it to life.
Well done!
Yes! I agree with what's been said!
So much packed into so few words, much like the lean muscles of a horse that explode into motion.
I love this poem for both the imagery and for the enrichment and empowerment.
Me too! It could have been quite cliched, and instead you take the image in surprising directions.
I like this poem for its toughness and succinctness - it says what it's got to say in both an erudite and earthy way. And that's not an easy effect to achieve. A great poster for a 14 year old girl to have on her wall!
Hi Kimberly! I like this, too, for all the reasons above and its powerful brevity/precision. My only tiny nit would be that the ending is a little abstract as compared to the strong first two images, but perhaps you like it that way.
Thanks for sharing a nice story and read!
I like this very much, you match the movement of the horse in your words....
Kimberly, Thank you for your compliments. I can see here that you are doing very well with the DSLR. Keep up the great work. It is nice to meet you!
Alida
I loved your unique imagery and it expressed your feeling of this picture beautifully.
i love the imagery and it feels very passionate ~ it really expresses the emotional bond you have to this picture .. how wonderful that it gave you such hope :)
This poem is quite powerful as is, even without your introduction.
"A twin to the moon" — beautiful.
Thank you for sharing the image and the story behind it.
I can see you adding more to your poem, if you'd like it to be longer, simply because I like the way it is unfolding. However, I think it works also as is — short and spot-on, to be read over and over again.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and comment. It feels good to feel like a part of a writing community. It has been a long time
nothing can signify freedom than a free horse. short but beautiful poem.
The print and the poem flow together quite well. I especially liked the first line. It drew me in right away.
The first four lines just rock! They move the reader right into the poem. I think I agree with Angie, though that the last two lines, while poetic, are abstract, while the rest of the poem is concrete and visual. "lantern in blue-black midnight" is also very nice!
I too think the last four lines are lovely.
I love this piece because of its wild energy...the opening is especially strong to me...
--D.--
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